I’ve been in the restaurant industry most of my adult life. I started working when I was around 16 and have worked in diners, drive-in’s and dives!!! My history is extensive and I can literally do almost anything in any given restaurant. From dishwashing, which is one of my favorite things to do, to profit and loss statements, which is my least favorite. I can do it all. Really the only things that change from place to place are the people and their preferences.
What I can not predict is clientele and ownership. Those things always change and I have found that every restaurant owner has a very different idea of how they want their restaurant run. Some owners love my big Texas personality and want more of it, some think I am loud and annoying and want me to tone it down. Some love my hands on approach and some want me to delicate more. Some want me in the front of the house and some want me in the back. It’s all just a matter of preference and I have to find my niche each time I change restaurants.
What I am not good at is humility. I walk into many situations and think that I know it all. I know how things run. I can cut fruit. I can brew coffee. I can talk to a customer. I can short order eggs, even. The only difference is, I don’t know how you want me to do it and I let my knowledge/ego get in the way. I have never walked into a restaurant and had the owner tell me to do whatever I want. They have always had an idea of how they wanted things run and they are signing my paycheck so they expect me to follow through with their demands…even if I know a better way to do it.
I have this same struggle in my recovery and ultimately with God. I have experience with my life. I know how to do this and you can’t tell me nothin’! When I honestly evaluate my life my experience really lies in totally f-ing things up. I don’t just break things, I totally destroy them. There is an old AA adage that says, “My best thinking got me here.” I have always regarded that as the silliest of the silly sayings on the wall, but after this last little bout with king alcohol, queen meth and court jesters crack, weed and pills…I am tired of entertaining my own cognition.
Its not easy to “Let go and let God.” another silly saying from the walls of AA rooms across the nation. I mean, really? How exactly do I let go? If I do nothing, I get nothing. If I do too much, I find myself right back to this place of desperation. Alone, having run everyone off and empty, having destroyed everything around me. My heart broken and my mind muddled. It almost seems like a better alternative to do nothing. But the fruits of nothing, as I said, are, well, nothing.
My call from the Lord is to find balance. A happy medium, if you will. A place of working but not working too much. A very wise women once told me that if I try to fix something and a solutions not easily found then its probably not my problem to solve. I had a sponsor once that would give me 15 minutes to try to fix a problem and if I couldn’t do it in that time frame then I wasn’t allowed to try to fix it again. I sucked at that.
God clearly wants us to do the work behind solving some of our challenges, He just wants us to depend more on Him than we do on our own ideas.
Today I take a step back when I know I have a problem to face. I ask God to guide me in the situation, I wait (this is the hard part) then I get to work putting His solution into action. I don’t do this perfectly every time, probably not even 75% of the time, but I get better at it each time I do it. I let God run the show instead of pushing Him aside and stepping on His toes. I have found that when I do that, His plan was so much better than mine.
Today is the last day of the physical side of the holistic cleanse. I hope that you are feeling lighter on your feet and that your dependence on sugars, starches and refined foods has diminished or disappeared completely. Tomorrow is a rest day. DO THAT!!! Rest. Find comfort it he fact that God gave us time to soak in him and love yourself. Our spiritual cleanse will start on Thursday and it should be a refreshing week, full of God’s promises. See you then.
What is your perspective today? How are you seeingthe world? After 5 days of cleansing your body and 7 days of cleansing your mind, your perspective should be great, right? Ha! Sometimes after going through a holistic healing process I find that my perspective is more askew than ever. Many times centering in my own mind and giving myself lots and lots of credit. I find that when I am the most broken is when I am having the finest moments of clarity and perspective.
My mom and I have talked about coauthoring a book together for many years. It won’t be an easy book to write and there may be many feelings that are hurt, mostly mine and hers. We have been through a lot of really hard situations together over the years and there is a lot of gross junk that will be out down in black and white. We aren’t set out to destroy each other through this process, quite the opposite actually, but we know that there are two sides to every story and my side may hurt her feelings and vice versa.
You see, my mother was abused by my father. In every way possible. Mentally, physically, emotionally, socially. It was bad and from a child’s perspective I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t doing more to get out of that situation. I blamed my mother for many years and was angry until I became an adult. I learned of the ramifications of abuse, then, as if the sky opened, I felt deep remorse for not having protected my mother more. My perspective changed because I was armed with facts.
I like to tell people that when you are sitting at lunch with your friend. Here are three stories going on. Yours, theirs, and the sandwiches. I’m sure many of you have heard something like this before, but really think about it today. When you enter into an empty room you bring everything that has happened to you in your life.
When I walk into a white room with nothing in it I bring in fear of the unknown, the clamor of silence clenches my throat, the stark white walls remind me of hiding in my closet while my father beat my mother, I hate the white room, there is only a straight jacket waiting for me in that room.
On the other hand my dear friend sees a place of rest. She smells the cleanliness of white, imagines floating on clouds, is in a room where there are no screaming, demanding children, white is her favorite color and that room holds naps and psalms of peace for her.
Now, my day usually starts off with a fun workout, relaxed time with God, prayer, meditation, writing, yoga, deep breathing…it’s all good stuff. Her morning is usually jumping out of bed because she has slept thought three alarms and the boys are late for school, rushing them around yelling for them to hurry, never looking in the mirror, no time to call on God and shoving food in her mouth and in the kids months before dragging them out of the house and into the car.
With those two scenarios in mind, once we made it into the white room, you would think our roles were reversed. She is calm, cool and collected and I am a complete mess. It’s all a matter of perspective.
God has a very clear perspective of our lives as well. He has the perspective of a grieving parent, a sovereign employer, a loving father and an omnipresent king. He loves us, he’s jealous for us, his heart aches for our sin and he cherishes us in ways we will never fully fathom. He sees our heart and he loves us for our desire. He is with us through every hardship, every victory, every lie, every altruistic action. He is everything and yet we disregard His vision as incomplete because in our perspective, how could anyone love us when we have those thoughts, or when we do those things or when we act human.
Today embrace what God believes about you. “You are wonderfully and fearfully made.” “You are a new creatioin Christ.” “You have a future and a hope.” Afterall, His perspective is ultimately what matters anyway.
Continue on with your physical cleanse. Let the old perspective of dependence on sugars and starches be cleared from your body and replace those with the new lenses of health and nutrition.
Palms up. Minds open. Hearts receiving. Others touched! To live.
This blog is managed and written by Summer Shine aka Victory Chic. The opinions herein are endorsed solely by Summer and are not the opinion of any of the affiliates mentioned…so don’t go getting all crazy with anyone else. Don’t like what’s being said? UNSUBSCRIBE. Love ya!